Letter to Myself at 15

I have spent this week chaperoning adolescents at a church camp. Considering how recently I was in their shoes, you would think that such a job would be easy and fun for a college guy. You would think. Actually, I have determined that I would make a terrible youth pastor or volunteer—I say that not in pity for myself, but rather in pity for the kids.

I am still at the stage I my life where I am running away from some of my still-fresh adolescent qualities and experiences. I currently see myself in a transition mode as a twenty year-old: from the teen years to the young adult years. And if I am honest with myself, I’ve been welcoming that change for a long time. I’m still irked as I look back on my high school habits, points of view, mannerisms, social interactions, and opinions. Although I know that many of these irksome parts of High School Sam still linger and, moreover, I will say the same thing about College Sam five years from now,  I still find myself in a constant state of escape as I try to move forward into adulthood.

So to be immersed back into high-schoolness for seven days was no easy task. But as the week concludes along with personal reflection on my own high school days, I would like to write a brief letter that I wish I had read five years ago as a freshman in high school.

Dear High School Sam,

Here is some advice, although you probably won’t listen to it since you’re 15 years-old. However, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Here are some suggestions as you wade through the next four years of Life.

Here are two remarkably important decisions that you will make probably without realizing it. First, decide whether you’re going to live the next four years building your identity around the expectations of others, or whether you’ll spend these years searching for your identity in the depths of your heart, talents, passions, and dreams. Choose the latter.

Second, decide ever so carefully the people you will surround yourself with—your closest friends from school, church, teams, or organizations. These people will have the greatest outside impact on who you become in the coming years. Choose wisely.

A couple other tidbits:

• If you’re always following rules, then you’re doing something wrong.
• Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
• The single most dangerous fear to be overcome is the fear to make mistakes. Live freely.
• Adults are more impressed by kids that admit that they have much to learn than by the kids who pretend to be know-it-alls.
• Most of the time you should listen to advice and criticism from adults, especially those you respect most. But every once in awhile you have to say to hell with them—if for no other reason, to learn the hard way.
• Yes we know, most of the stuff you learn in high school you don’t actually need, you can stop saying it for the millionth time. That’s not the point. The point is to make your mind fully functioning, because right now it’s not.
• Never ever disregard the power of imagination.
• It’s almost always a mistake to get romantically involved with anyone in high school. However, it’s a mistake you should make. Just learn from it and try not to mess up too bad.
• Be constantly aware of your place in the world—your ability to destroy along with your ability to build. May you live to make the world a better place, and beware of those temptations to humiliate, disregard, or tear down others.
• And one last thing: try to give Mom a break every once in awhile—it might lengthen your life expectancy.

Love,

College Sam